Ana

Last week, I had to arrive three hours and a half later to a meeting I had arranged with my director friend, and forget about my plans for the rest of the afternoon because the night before I had got an e-mail saying that I had been selected to audition for this fun feature film. Since I keep looking for reasons (acting related) to stay here longer and had been to two amazing auditions (also for features) the week before, I decided I should go to this one even thought it would mess up my plans. So I totally dressed up the character, as they had told us to: a punk lesbian "don't mess with me" suicide girl. While walking from the car towards the audition building, I had to hear some whistles and comments, but it's impossible not to really be the character when you're walking around wearing that kind of clothes- so I'd just give them an intimidating  "f#*& off" look and go on confidently walking with a mischievous smile on my pierced mouth.

So I walk in, they give me the sides and are ready to tape me. Yes, I've done a lot of cold reading training, but I always feel it's kinda cool to take a look at the lines before you say them out loud... and I had to sing... and puke! Awesome news, right? The only direction they gave me was "Please just don't scream sing"- well... I wouldn't do it even if you begged me to. So I do the scene and they're like "Great!" "Awesome!" "Was that an accent? We can hardly hear it"... I mean, it's like they said everything I'd like them to say, I just wish I had a reason to believe at least in one of their words. So I'm like "Don't you have any specific directions you want to give me? I'd love to do it again!". They think for three seconds and "No, I mean you actually did it the way we see the scene", "Yeah, what we have is enough. We'll just watch the tape", "Hey, by the way, have you seen the play?", "The play?", "In which the feature is based on", "Oh is it at the theaters now?", "Yes. Here is an invitation. You will only have to pay ten dollars. The tickets are twenty five, but because you came to the audition it's only ten! It's great cause then you get to see the characters and will be even more prepared for the callback!", "Sure, cool. So are you guys involved in the production of the play too?", "Oh no! Not the production. We're in it!".

...

Of course I didn't go see the play. And obviously I didn't get a callback. What the hell? They were all young and beautiful and had already been cast as the characters! They weren't freaking looking for actors! That's just a brilliant idea to bring people to a theatre show in L.A.! Nobody cares about watching a play here, but if you're making a feature based on it, we are all going cause we want you to see how interested we are in getting the role!

Hands down, they're smart! I just wonder how many "goth Cindys" went to see the show.

When the whole world was crying while watching Michael Jackson's memorial ceremony, I was only some miles away from it having a blast at my headshot session. Is that too bad?

I had a Christian Dior make-up artist, the coolest photographer/ location scouter/ driver, my best friend/ assistant/ hairstylist and the newest super nice On The Verge cameraman with me. I totally felt like a star.

I just don't think I got a good new theatrical headshot out of the whole experience. Why can't I just stop smiling? It's got to the point where it's really annoying for me not to be able to control that sometimes. I wanna stop hiding myself with smiles and giggles.